Avatar, however, was surrounded by enough hoopla and hype to get me out of my lair and into a movie theater chair – will I ever learn?

Directing

The legendary James Cameron wrote and directed the movie and this is certainly a classic James Cameron movie in all the good ways and, unfortunately, in a few bad ones, as well.
The good first.  The story is a larger than life epic struggle of good (Cameron’s far left nut job version of it) versus bad.  The special effects, concepts, and execution, especially in 3D, are truly mesmerizing.  Well, that’s pretty much it for the good. The pace of the movie is not bad, but this is no “Terminator Salvation”.  There are too many spots where it actually drags – I found myself yawning.  And there are quite a few scenes that can be justified only as political propaganda.

Acting

The acting is competent,  as one would expect from an all-star cast headed by Sam Worthington as Jake Sully.  Worthington was cast in Terminator Salvation because they were looking for someone with the acting chops to stand up to Christian Bale. They got way more than they bargained for (read my review of that performance here). That his performance in this movie is two dimensional is attributed more to the writing and the directing than to anything that Worthington might or might not have done. All the characters, including that of  Zoe Saldana (she does most of her acting from a squat position) as Worthington’s ten foot tall blue skinned, long-tailed paramour, along with  Sigourney Weaver as the good scientist and Stephen Lang as the evil Colonel are dry,  stereotypical, and, appropriately enough, cartoonish.

This movie is about political propaganda and racism delivered via stunning (and very very expensive) special effects. There is no room for character development.  If anything, Stephen Lang falls far short of the intended target as an old war horse commander of a “mercenary” outfit.  Lang just lacks the inner authority to pull it off and no amount of make-up scars or flexing of biceps will endow him with that.

Plot

(Skip the blue type if you don’t want to spoil it. )  Evil, white humans go to a far away planet to mine “unobtanium”.  That’s the stuff from which Maserati spare parts are made. On that planet live these blue-skinned, eternally fit and skinny humanoid creatures, the Navi or the ‘Na’vi, or whatever. Anywho, these Navi commune with the planet, the trees, and other creatures via the tips of their tails.

To better communicate with these Navi creatures, the evil white humans create these bodies that look like the Navi, but are controlled by the brain waves of certain humans after whom they are modeled.

Jake Sully is one such human and is sent in to figure out what makes the  aborigines tick. He does just that.  So much so that he becomes enamored of that lifestyle and of a certain female Navi, Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana.  When the evil white mercenaries come to knock down the tree that these Navi call home and mine some  more unobtanium, Jake Sully switches sides, joins the spear-chuckers, and helps to defeat the evil, mostly white, mercenaries.

Social Comment

As you figured by now, the bad guys are the  machine-dependent whites, while the good guys are the mother earth loving blue people – oh yeah the earth goddess is the supreme being in Cameron’s emasculated mind. We  see  only one minority soldier as a member of the mercenary army – and not until very close to the  end of the movie. I bet that those late scenes were added at because it was getting too obvious that Cameron desperately wishes he wasn’t white.  So they added a scene with a handful of minority bad guys.  I also bet that this  scene won’t be shown in certain parts of the world. The sole mercenary pilot who is a minority (and a woman) also switches sides at the end to fight the evil whites. Isn’t it funny how Hollywood often uses minorities when they want to portray military men and women in heroic circumstances, but use whites in lead roles when engaged in their usual military bashing?

The ecoholic message is also overwhelming.  You know the drill – living off the land = good, machines = bad. I wonder if it’s lost on anyone that this message is being brought to you by the best high-tech special effects and software that money can buy.  One really funny (though not intentionally) line in the movie comes after Jake Sully hunts and  kills an animal. First note that it’s OK to do that because he used a bow instead of a firearm and second he advises the dead beast that “I see you, brother”.  That makes it all better.  Not to mention the fact that he was no longer a white Marine with a gun, but a noble blue creature  – you real-tree clad redneck hunter you.

Don’t for a second doubt my analysis of the level of racism present in this movie. In fact, at the end Cameron has the evil white colonel ask the heroic Jake Sully, “How does it feel to betray your own race?” Now, Sully has, if anything,  betrayed humanity, homo sapiens, as a whole so the proper wording would be “how does it feel to betray your own species,” but you see that wouldn’t  jive with Cameron’s self-loathing and his loathing of whites.

Should you go see this movie? Well, the special effects in 3D  are pretty good. Heck, Hollywood even fooled me into dishing out the $12.  Kinda like they fooled the country into voting for Obama. So, I guess you can see it like I did and marvel at the cartoons, but that’s about it.

Plot and Acting

All right I won’t go into the plot.  We all know the plot.  A few quick  thoughts on the acting; I’m still not a fan of Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore and I’m still a big fan of Alan Rickman as Snape.

Jim Broadbent. What can I say, no surprise there at all.  He does a great job as Professor Horace Slughorn. It’s truly a pleasure to watch an accomplished master work. What was a surprise and a pleasant one at that was Tom Felton.  Draco Mallfoy grew up and became an actor! This guy can act.  Certainly a lot better than any other Sixth Year Hogwarts students. If the whole Voldemort’s apprentice thing doesn’t work out, Draco can go to the Diagon Alley playhouse and have a career. Helena Bonham Carter looked like she had a really good time playing Bellatrix Lestrange and I had a really good time watching her do it.   The rest of the cast was competent, but no one else really stood out.

Directing

I wasn’t all that impressed with David Yates‘  directing  in the previous Harry Potter – Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoneix – and I am even more dissatisfied with this one. Yates takes absolutely no chances and the movie suffers because of it.  I know it’s a multi-Gazzillion Dollar Franchise and you don’t want to blow up the movie by taking chances and I know that J.K Rowling and the studio probably has snipers trained on him at all times so as not to deviate form the formula, but that’s the thing. This formula didn’t work! The movie is little more than a not very exciting action adventure flick without all that much of either.  Gone is the mystery of earlier movies.  Gone is the flow of earlier movies.  And gone is the magic. The director chose to highlight parts of the book that I think weren’t all that important and chose to completely ignore other parts that I thought should have been featured. I don’t know why the connection that Harry developed with the  half Blood Prince via  the latter’s book was completely ignored. After all, that’s the movie and the title of the movie right? Because of that omission, it was really awkward when Harry was reluctant to part with the book. As the movie presented it, there was no reason for Harry not to chuck it aside without a thought.

The director, and whomever else was involved, decided to spend more time on the comedic aspect of teen love.  But I have to tell you – it fell flat. The only ones who were laughing in the theater were very young kids.  Most of those scenes and story lines  could have been condensed to develop the actual story line of the Half Blood Prince.  Oh well.

All in all not a bad movie, but when your budget is limitless, when you have such a great story to work with,  and a built-in audience, why not take a chance? Why not  make a great movie? I don’t know if any future Harry Potter films will ever capture the magic of the earlier ones, but this one is really really far from it.

So far, this one just edged out Order of the Phoenix  as my least favorite of the Harry Potter movies. OK so now go and see it and have a wonderfull time!

Terminator Salvation is the single most action packed movie I have seen in the past six months. I am talking non-stop-take-a-breath-when-you-can-and-hold-on-to-your-popcorn action because the director takes you for a ride that you won’t soon forget.  And you know what?  I for one couldn’t get enough of it. The chase  scenes are a rarity in action movies. They are “smart” and they are logical and they hold enough surprises to keep you interested. We are not talking about mindless car chases here.  Oh no.  We are talking about the prodigy child of a marriage  between the best of Star Wars and the best of  Transformers (if there was such a thing as the best of Transformers).  And just as you think you can relax, hold on, popcorn breath, ’cause McG ain’t done with you and you don’t want to be done with either.  When you hire McG to direct action movies  you will get chase scenes, and compared to the ones in Terminator, Charlie’s Angels seemed like slow motion play dough that got left out in the summer sun. I know he did Coyote Ugly. So what? Are you gonna the be the one to throw the first stone? He is also doing T5 – in development- and I can’t wait because the man can do action movies! Am I saying that the movie is perfect? Far from it. There is some loss of focus and there are some superfluous scenes with Moon Bloodgood’s character Blair Williams but its nothing major what is a bit more troubling is some of the acting.

Acting

Oh maaaaaannnn. I’m not gonna win too many friends with this. I might not even speak to myself for a while either, but I have to call ‘em like I see ‘em.  Christian Bale! I am a big fan, or at least I was, but I have to tell you that he is beginning to wear just a little bit thin.  Sure he does a good job as John Connor…buuuuttt, what more did he bring to the role? What extra dimension does he bring to the character? Truth be told I couldn’t tell if he was John Connor, or Bruce Wayne or Quinn Abercromby. In this movie, Christian Bale is two dimensional and predictable and quite frankly a bit boring.  McG is not known for bringing out command performances from his actors and this is no exception. The good acting in this move, and there was some, was, I suspect, individual efforts on the part of the actors.  (I can’t help but wonder what DiCaprio would have done with this role)

The first stand out is  Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright. The story goes that casting was looking for someone able to stand up to Christian Bale.   Ha! What they found is someone able to upstage him. That is exactly what Sam Worthington does.  The guy has to play a role that is supposed to be devoid of emotion and yet manages to steal the movie.

The second acting gem, albeit a very small role, is actually no surprise at all. Oscar nominee Helena Bonham Carter playing  Dr. Serena Kogan manages, in a few seconds, to show us why she is one of the best actresses in  Hollywood. I can count on one hand the number of other actresses who I think are in her league.   I am not aware of many that can do what she did in just a few seconds of film.  I really wish she had been given more time, but then they’d have to call the movie something else.

Plot

I won’t give away too much, but skip the blue font if you don’t know and don’t want to know.

The machines are kicking our butts and what’s left of the human armies is desperately trying to find an edge to turn the tide. John Connor, not yet the leader of the resistance, is tasked with implementing a Hail Mary plan to end the war in one fell swoop.  In this mix enter Marcus Wright as a half human-half machine contraption that no one knows what to make of  or do with. There aren’t many plot twists, but who goes to a see a Terminator movie for the plot?

Social Commentary

A high speed low drag celebration of the eternal human spirit. A tighten your seat-belt lesson in tenacity and determination against overwhelming odds.  A movie about loyalty and sacrifice. Gotta love it.

Of course, you should go see it, but you probably did!

After last week’s false start with the somewhat disappointing ” Wolverine” , the summer season got right back on track today with Star Trek. Hold on to your seats because the on screen action grabs you and takes you for a warp-speed spin giving you barely moments to catch your breath. Is it formula? Not nearly as much as you’d expect and besides its supposed to be! This is big bold unabashed unapologetic huge budget blockbuster movie making at its best.

Directing and Writing

J.J. Abrams feature movie directing resume isn’t long but man is it ever action packed. His previous big budget movie was Mission Impossible III. Any director that can keep an audience looking at Tom Cruise for two hours deserves another chance and Mr. Abrams got it with Star Trek. It was a gamble that has paid off. The directing is perfect for this type of movie. The camera angles complemented the special effects, the pace was spot on and the top notch cast was expertly , directed. No doubt “traditionalists” will compare this movie to the iconic “Wrath of Khan” but it will be to the detriment of the later. This one is better except maybe in one or two ways. The writers, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman did a very nice job but the movie does lack that one memorable line to rival Montalban’s Ahab-esque, immortal “from Hell’s heart I stab at thee”. (“To the last, I grapple with thee; from hell‘s heart, I stab at thee; for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”) The other thing that is lacking may or may not be a shortfall depending on your taste. Rarely has the screen seen such a dramatic clash of characters played by such exceedingly dramatic actors as William Shatner’s Captain Kirk and Ricardo Montalban’s Khan.I believe that we won’t see their like again for a long time to come. This movie lacks that dynamic but I suspect that not everyone will miss it, truth be told I sort of did.

Acting

Like everyone else I was very curious to see how Chris Pine would fill William Shatner’s shoes. He filled them very well and, naturally, with significantly less overacting. The biggest surprise is Carl Urban’s Leonard McCoy. Urban gives the character a more rounded, more edgy and more of a three dimensional feel than that made famous by his predecessor. This new rendition is as comfortable in the “sick bay ” as away from it, and that works out just fine. The most controversial of the new generation will probably be Zachary Quinto‘s portrayal of a young Mr. Spock. This more youthful version is also somewhat more emotional and conflicted. I thought the performance to be very appropriate given the plot but don’t be surprised if this turns into an all out Trekie cat fight between the traditionalists and the noobs.

Plot

I’ll give away as little as possible but if you don’t want to spoil the surprise skip the blue.

A good part of the movie is a biography of Captain Kirk literally from birth to his first Star Ship command. Truth be told this was big gap in the Star Trek saga that has been now properly filled. We are also treated to a much shorter version of Mr. Spock’s life story up to and including his not so peaceful acquaintance with James Tiberius Kirk. The unanticipated sub plots that ensue form this keeps us guessing and adds yet another dimension to the movie. I am not used to that in a Star Trek sequel it certainly is a pleasant surprise and one of the reasons why I say that I give this movie an edge over “Khan.”

The movie also introduces us to the twenty something version of the rest of the Enterprise”s crew and how they ended up on the fateful ship. There is also a very surprising romance interest which the purists might deride but, logically speaking, I can’t find fault with it.

The main story line is that a mad Romulan, Eric Bana is hell bent on destroying the Federation or at least a few chosen planets. Stopping him falls on the shoulders of the young cadets manning the Enterprise. I know, I know cadets were called int o battle once before . As the cadets are the future most storied crew ever to serve on a Star Ship, the Romulan gets his pointy ears boxed but good.

Social Comentary

A heroic tale of self sacrifice, friendship, loyalty, love and duty and honor. Yes its all that, and isn’t that great!

I’ll go see it again next week, with the wife this time, and I imangine that many of you just might go see it more than once too.

Cast

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy Eric Bana Bruce Greenwood

Karl Urban Zoe Saldana Simon Pegg John Cho Anton Yelchin

Ben Cross Winona Ryder Chris Hemsworth Jennifer Morrison

Rachel Nichols

Come on you knew that I just had to do this

As an occasional X Men movies fan, and who isn’t I couldn’t pass up the occasion to see the new X-Men movie, X-men Origins : Wolverine. The reason I didn’t write anything on it until now is because I really didn’t have much to say on this. A big part of that has to do with the fact that not much happend in just about two thirds of the movie and what did happen was as predictable as Monday and about as exciting.

Directing

The man most responsible  for this disappointment is director Gavin Hood. Not a new comer , Mr. Hood isn’t exactly a money in the bank type of director either, far from it. The movie is well under two hours, and about two thirds of that is set up. The most interesting part about he first half of the movie is the spectacular Canadian Rocky mountains scenery and that’s about it. The problem with devoting that much time to setting something up is that when the money shot finally arrives whatever portion of your audience is still awake expects a doozey. ( Has anyone else used that word in the past thirty years?). Wolverine never delivers the goods. If you’ve seen Hood’s prior work, what was that one called again, oh yeah “America Bad, Islamists Good” or some other such typical Hollywood rubbish – actually it was “Rendition” then you know what to expect. The pace of Wolverine is somewhat similar to Rendition but as there is only a limited amount of  America bashing in “Wolverine” MrHood was apparently not all that  passionate about it and it shows. The one hour and forty-whatever minute long flick went by like an eight hour Monday work day in late November. Writing? Yeah well, did they have any writers on this one? Messers David Benioff (screenplay) and Skip Woods (screenplay), charged with filling almost two hours of movie with a story worth at at best half an hour, decided to rely on cinematography rather than plot or dialogs. Like I said I really liked the scenery but if you are going to make a Rocky Mountains documentary let me know ahead of time. I pay for my own tickets you know and there are two of us. ( Not to mention having to justify to my wonderful wife why I dragged her out to see this after she put a long hard day at work) OK so that’s it,  the directing  and the writing were fittingly matched.

Acting

Cuddly no?

Hugh Jackman, is actor that you can rely upon to deliver exactly the kind of performance that you expect as long as the role doesn’t exceed his range. Now I am not saying that Mr Jackman can’t do an Oscar worthy performance, I have no idea if he can or not, all I am just saying is that I haven’t seen it; maybe someday we will. Yes he is almost wolverine but I have to tell you all the while I am watching this movie I was thinking that this role would be so cool for Christian Bale or Karl Urban. I have no idea how a director could make Mr Jackman bring out the beast in Wolverine- just in case no one told him here is a hint. Mr. Jackman seems to be a rarity in Hollywood, a genuinely nice guy, and that’s great.  In a movie full of other X-Men and X-gals his niceness doesn’t really interfere with the role but in a movie about Wolverine the missing edge is sadly evident.

The cast is rounded out by Liev Schreiber as Wolverine’s brother “Sabertooth”, Danny Huston as the evil mastermind Col. Stryker and Lynn Collins. No complains here they all do a very mice job in what are mostly two dimensional roles.

Plot

Please skip the blue font if you don’t want to know the plot

There isn’t much of that plot thing  going on here. Wolverine and his older brother have some super powers, and they end up on the the run.  As they get older they enroll in the military and fight in all the wars from WWI to Vietnam and some special action in Africa. Wolverine , he doesn’t yet go by that name, gets tired of fighting and retires to Canada to set up house with Kayla Silverfox played by Lynn Collins ( who can blame him?) Evil Col. Stryker won’t leave him alone and makes certain things happen in order to convince Wolverine to allow himself to be given a new “adamatium” bonded skeleton. There is a plot twist there and I won’t spoil it. Stryker ,trying to develop a super mutant, rounds up a whole bunch of other mutants to study and find out how to transfer their powers to his new mutant project, Weapon 11. Wolverine rescues the mutants that Stryker is hoarding in his dungeon/lab and kills Weapon 11. That’s it, I told you that it didn’t need almost two hours.

The film would be a good TV movie but it wasn’t worth the $12 ticket price.

This movie is made for those who love and appreciate fine acting, and yeah it is like fine wine, and in many cases it does get better with age. The acting is so great in fact that you begin to be thankful for the sub-par directing, makes the great acting performances seem to last longer, and maybe even forgive the awkward screen adaptation.

Directing

As I was watching the movie I had the impression that Gregor Jordan’s directing seemed distracted or maybe even overwhelmed by the project and by having the opportunity to work with a tremendous roster of some of the most experienced actors in Hollywood, and some really talented younger ones as well. As I learned later that’s not really the case but its rather a matter of Mr. Jordan trying desperatly to piece together what surely was a ridiculous screen adaptation.

The pace of this movie is really, well , it’s not easy to characterize. Jordan does have quite a few really brilliant moments when his hands-off approach, merciful lack of quirky camera angles and letting the pros do their thing truly creates movie magic, but that’s also the problem with the movie. It’s more of a collection of great scenes lacking a strong directorial hand to knit them together and to keep the movie on pace. The format of the screen play itself – seemingly unrelated story lines weaving in and out of each other’s existence – is really a minefield for a directors. Gregor Jordan does avoid blowing up the movie on any of those mines but he navigates trough that mine field at a pace that is in contrast with the fast and furious lives of the characters.

Since we are on the subject of the screenplay, it is an adaptation of Brett Easton Ellis’ novel by the same name. Mr. Ellis collaborated on adapting his novel into a big screen script with newcomer Nicholas Jarecki and hence the problem. I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened, but I suspect that, like all writers, Ellis jealously guarded the adaptation to be as faithful to the novel as possible, Mr. Jarecki didn’t have the pull or knowledge to correct him, and the end result is a train wreck of a script that landed in the director’s lap.

Acting

You are sitting there watching the movie wondering why they didn’t at least allow a good editor to fix this movie and then you realize, there is some really top notch acting going on hereh, I think I’ll stay.

The performances of Billy Bob Thorton and Kim Basinger as estranged husband and wife rival any put on celluloid anytime, anywhere by anyone. Billy Bob Thorton shows exactly why he is arguably the most accomplished actor in Hollywood today. Kim Basinger rises to the challenge and gives us her best performance since LA Confidential and, for my money, I have to tell you that I think she bettered it.

My favorite scene in the movie is a duet with Billy Bob Thorton and Winona Ryder, as his mistress, stealing a rendezvous in the ladies room of an LA Restaurant as the former’s family is waiting at a table in the dining room. It’s a short scene in a relatively minor role, but I have never seen Winona Ryder do better. Ms. Ryder recaptures the sparkle of the troubled teen from Girl Interrupted, subdued by the years gone by and the daily grind of the successful career woman of the early eighties. In that scene, dialogue seems almost superfluous and we are transported back in time to the glory days of Hollywood. Seriously, it’s really that good.

It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say that Brad Renfro ‘s portrayal of “wrong side of town” Jack, the doorman is the best that I’ve seen him do and at the very least it rivals that of Thorton or anyone else in the movie. ( The morons who wrote that “we don’t know if he is acting or he was just being himself” should borrow a few bucks and go rent some shame) Alas this was his last rolle as he passed away last year of a drug overdose. Hollywood and us will miss him and we will be deprived of seeing a talented actor.

Plot

Here’s the rub, apparently somewhere in the three year long write and rewrite of this movie there was a vampire plot and some other such supernatural nonsense that the director edited out. This does however create a pretty big and confusing gap and a couple of minor ones as well. A young boy is kidnapped and sold as would be hors d’ouvers for the un-dead beasts. The thing is that without knowing that there are vampires lurking about the audience doesn’t really know what to fully make of this subplot.

That the bat-boys and gals were tossed out of the movie is probably a very good thing. Do we really need a “Lost Boys Sequel?” That the rest of the movie wasn’t massaged better to integrate the rest of the stories is not. What is left is a collection of short stories some of which have more to do with each other and some of which don’t.

I suppose that in that way the movie sort of resembles real life and it’s not lost on anyone that the director might have intentionally done that, but if you are going to make an avante guard movie warn me ahead of time. If not, then try hard to not make the movie as disjointed as real life.  We get enough of that for free. There is no plot – just sex, debauchery, some regret,  a little redemption, a generational tug-of-war, lots of drugs, a bit of death, and life goes on.

Oh yeah and the movie probably has a record number of Wayfarers per inch of celluloid, but weren’t they great?

Social Commentary.

Is this Hollywood begging for forgiveness?

Along with the acting, this is the other reason to go see this movie – the life of a powerful Hollywood executive, his family, their friends and associates is shown in all its glory and all its misery. From the glitz of a paparazzi flanked red carpet fund raiser, to habitual multi-partner sex, to drugs, and finally to the misery and pain of AIDS – the movie wraps it all up and puts in on display for you to see. (The reviews from other critics are evidence that freaks really don’t like mirrors.) The lives of young people that have everything except moral compasses  handed to them on platinum platters, quickly dissolve into  meaningless abhorrent drifts of debauchery interrupted by occasional bouts of reflection and the inevitable scream of agony that that fleeting moment of lucidity brings. Somewhere in all of this a clumsy awkward doorman with dreams of movie stardom is trying to find a way to get inside what, from his vantage point, seems to be the circle of happiness. That he never gets in and that he’ll never know how lucky he was is just another of the great subplots of this movie. What he does get to do is to provide the symbolic redemption for all those involved.

Graham, played very well by Jon Foster is the heir apparent to his father’s entertainment fortune, and, as such, is the prototypical and timeless poor little rich boy. In yet another great scene, his friend (and sometimes lover and sometimes lover of his girlfriend and sometimes lover of his mother – you get the picture right?) asks why someone who has everything is complaining.  Graham’s response is the movie and is the summary of the human condition from Cain to 1980′s Hollywood and forevermore, “I just need someone to tell me what’s right and wrong.”

Oh yeah, you think Hollywood will ever forgive a movie that brings forth a statement like that?

If you can stand the sex and drugs scenes, go see the movie. It has a lot of merit (even if does seemingly lack a plot) and great acting.

Its getting so that every time I go to see a movie I have to expect some sort of unpleasant surprise or another. This movie was no exception. Its really too bad because it would have been a really nice way to ease in to the coming summer blockbuster season with a cute, irreverent, well written comedy. This movie is that and that would have been more than enough, but, you see, Hollywood just can’t help itself.

Directing

I have to admit I could become a big fan of Greg Mottola’s directing. The pace of the movie is just right, the acting is kept at a nice, subtle level, and comedic timing is spot on. The writing is, of course, key to a comedy and in this case it’s very good and it’s also done by Mr. Mottola. It seems that Mr Mottola matured artistically far more than just the two years that have passed since Superbad would indicate. Compared to that, Adventureland is a slick polished jewel that undulates through subplots with the grace of a lean, sinuous, expert belly dancer in her prime.

Acting

Jesse Eisnenberg as the leading young man gave a performance that in anything other than a comedy would have critics take notice. In a world awash with over actors, method actors, God only knows what other kind of actors it’s good to see someone this young and with this much on-screen self control.

Opposite Jesse Eisenberg is Kristen Stewart playing Em Lewin, an NYU college student spending her summer slumming as a carny in her hometown’s amusement park. If there is a weak link in this movie, and it’s a big if, it is Ms. Stewart’s performance. It’s not bad, but it’s not memorable. The deer in the headlights routine worked just fine when surrounded by vampires, but it doesn’t really work in an environment where the character has contempt for most of those who surround her. The supposed seething tension between her and her stepmother never really comes through. You may ask who needs that in a comedy anyway (and you may be right), but if it’s written, you might as well try to make it work, no?

The Plot

I try to give away as little as possible but if you don’t want to know the plot, just skip the blue font.

Ivy League bound James Brennan (Jesse Eisnenberg) finds out that his father’s income has taken a turn south. Because of that, his graduation trip to Europe is canceled and his attending Columbia in the fall is in jeopardy as well. Lacking any sort of experience, and self-confidence, James get the only job that he seems qualified for – a carny at the local amusement park. There he meets Em and the two develop an relationship that takes more turns and ups and downs than the park’s rollercoaster. At the end of summer, James finds himself with less money than at the beginning and with no way to attend Columbia. He is seemingly fated to stay home and go to a local college, while Em returns to NYU.

James is made of sterner stuff and decides that if going to NY to attend an Ivy League school isn’t in the cards, at least he’ll get half-way there and just go to NY. He shows up in front of Em’s apartment. The two reconcile as the NY rain washes away whatever it was that temporarily tore them apart and NYC embraces them with the promises of a brand new future. I bet Greg Mottola is a big Saul Bellows fan.

Social Commentary

OK. So, why am I telling you not to go see this movie? Well, because about a third of the way through, the movie manages to introduce the worst kind of gratuitous blasphemy, and as a Christian I refuse to endorse any movie that does that.

It doesn’t stop there, however. The movie also introduces further Christian bashing, Catholic to be more precise. In a subplot that has nothing to do with the story line and adds nothing to it, Mottola portrays the local Chatolics as bigoted and segregationists against Jews. That’s another thing the movie doesn’t for one second allow us to not understand – that the protagonists, their families, and their friends are mostly jews except, of course, for the evil Catholics. It seems that every movie and movie director from the Cohen brtothers to a relative newcomer like Mottola must include the worst kind of blasphemy and Christian bashing in order to get the stamp of approval. Well fine, but I refuse to endorse it and I hope you do the same. If we all stop going to see these movies, they’ll get the picture.
So that’s it, event tough its a decent enough movie I would recommend that you don’t go to see it. On the other hand judging by the weekend’s box office numbers that would be redundant.

It is a sort of fictitious tripe masquerading as a documentary of the pig sty that was once New York’s Plato’s Retreat.

The film relies on interviews with various former denizens of Plato’s Retreat sprinkled with television interviews of the former owner, Larry Levenson and laced with vintage photos and footage from the establishment.

I have to tell you, this team of directors have a rare and special talent. They manage to turn a story about sex into something that makes you want to go home, scrub tyourself down, put on many layers of clothing and engage your spouse in an all night discussion of St. Cyrius of Alexandria.

Granted, the subject matter is despicable and the protagonists have, as expected, the personalities of deflated tennis balls (with some determination their IQs might match said tennis balls), but don’t sell directors John Hart and Matthew Kauffman short.

They also manage to take a true story about how two bumbling bookkeepers on the run from the mob end up on a televised game show in Vegas and turn it into a snoozer. (I am betting that somewhere, somehow someone will see or hear that plot line and turn it onto a really funny movie.)

There is no mention in the film of the scars that Plato’s retreat indubitably left on its patrons’ already unstable psyche, and there is no metnion of STDs other than Aids. Those interviewed try to tell us, and mostly themselves, that they didn’t regret going to Plato’s and engaging in some of the most depraved behavior since Caligula. I don’t think that anyone in the theater believed them and the audience laughs out loud – really they do – at the absurd claims made by the former patrons.

I never had much interest in Plato’s retreat. Sure, I knew of it. What seventeen year old boy growing up in NYC at that time didn’t? And, as such, I can’t claim to be an expert on the subject matter. Among the many things that I didn’t know about it, but that the film made perfectly clear, is about the overall “Jewishness” of the place. One of the interviewees (I think it may have been Al Goldstein, the despicable worm who edited “Screw Magazine”), had the one line in the movie that was inteneded to be funny and actually was. Describing the paper thin walls of Plato’s retreat he mentions that among the oft overheard conversations were those of girls looking for car poolrides to the next day’s Hebrew School.

Larry Levenson thought that he was the vanguard of the future sexual behavior in this country. Thank God he was wrong. He passed away at 62 years old, alone and impoverished. Plato’s Retreat closed in 1985, but it reopened in Florida and operated there until 2006.

Again the film is a ridiculous exercise that has no merit whatsoever.